28 games to help you avoid revision
For the past two terms, Games Editor Simon Worthington has been exploring the untamed world of online gaming and bringing back the best for your enjoyment. We've brought them all together here but be warned, they are extremely fun, addictive and time-consuming. Happy procrastination Imperial!
Nanaca Crash
The first thing you should know about this game is that it’s Japanese, which therefore means it’s been liberally sprinkled with craziness. In this anime-style game you control a girl on a bike whose main objective is to crash into a man, sending him flying, and then to keep him in the air as long as possible through a series of further carefully-timed aerial collisions. Quite what the story is here is a mystery, as all the instructions are also in Japanese.
So far, so easy, but the skill is really required when you notice the passers-by on the ground below, on which the flying man will occasionally bounce. Some will slow you down and some will speed you up, so it’s a constant battle to use crashes in the right place to get boosts and avoid the girl that ends the game early. There’s also immense satisfaction to be had from landing 'specials', where an ordinary boost will turn into a super crazy anime explosion. Addiction is not a word to be used lightly but once you’ve got into the game all that matters is beating the previous distance record. Ours was over 10km by the way so if you beat that then let us know!
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Yeti Sports
Although they were authored at the turn of the millennium, relatively few people seem to have encountered this ever-growing series of games. All involve the titular yeti using clubs, snowballs or even flamingos to hit penguins as fast as he can along beaches and up icebergs. Our personal favourite is Yetisports 4: Albatross Overload, although make sure to try the original penguin-hitting classic. Penguin fans can also sleep easy as all of the fluffy critters seem to be fine upon landing. Experts should try the Ylympics Tournament!
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Depict1
In this retro platformer you control a small boy lost in a world of invisible walls, infinite pits and shadowy enemies. Led by a mysterious narrator whose advice is not as helpful as it initially might seem, you and the boy must journey in the hope of finding some escape despite the narrator insisting that there is none to be found. Depict1 turns a lot of the traditional staples of video games, such as spiky pits, bonus diamonds and timed levels, on their head and forces the player to re-examine everything they thought they knew about platformers. After a few levels there comes a feeling that the entire game is both unpredictable and out to get you which makes for an original and exciting experience. The adrenaline is kept high by the constant suspicious thoughts about what might happen next, and even working out how to move is a challenge in itself.
Backed up by some pretty graphics that give the game a professional polish, Depict1 is a game that grabs hold of you and won’t let go until the end, despite some slow levels early on. There are two endings to be found, one significantly harder than the other, and the final level is a genuine stumper that might take you a while to figure out. Go to the website, click Depict1 and then follow the links to the Flash version on the right.
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Moby Dick
Despite the developer admitting that this game is what happens "when you make a game from a book you have never read", this 2D whale munch-fest is surprisingly true to the original text. Players must control the titular white whale using the mouse, and have to destroy as many boats and munch on as many fish (and sailors) as they can without running out of air or health. Sailors will bombard you with arrows and nets, and later bigger ships will arrive and fire cannonballs at you.
As you blitz your way through the ocean it’s easy to overlook how pretty the game looks – there’s clearly been a lot of attention to detail. It’s also got the quality of being 'easy to pick up, difficult to master', so there's plenty of gameplay to keep coming back to.
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Bunny Flags
In this defend-and-shoot game, you control an eyepatched rabbit commando defending his flag (and, indeed, himself) from hostile enemies. Quite why the enemies are disembodied fingers and all the action is played out amongst giant books and mugs of coffee is not easy to discern, but the mixture of tower defence and top-down shooter is a good one.
The shooting aspect helps take the tedium out of waiting for enemies to reach your towers – a common problem in tower defence games – and the presence of towers provides a refreshing strategic element.
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AVOIDAL
"Enemies as weapons" is the idea behind this mouse-controlled arcade game. Destroy the blue stars by setting off the traps that you must yourself avoid - red stars will chase you around the screen and yellow spikes fly in a straight line when activated. It sounds pretty easy, but when there’s enemies bearing down on you and no way to escape a small panic does start to set in. Graphics aren’t particularly amazing but at least they don’t get in the way. A good way to spend an idle ten minutes.
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Treadmillasaurus Rex
Dinosaurs. Lasers. Partying. Three things that are undeniably awesome, so if you were to mix these things together you might think that the product would be a game of epic proportions. And you’d be right. The titular treadmill will push T-Rex back and forth between the lasers and spiked balls force him to jump, causing the wheel to spin. Where it lands is (presumably) random, and with certain spaces activating laser light shows, confetti showers and top hats, things get very epic very quickly. Whether the wheel ever lands on 'Win The Game' is debatable, so if that happens to you then let us know!
Click to play Treadmillasaurus Rex
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Bejeweled Blitz
Even if you’ve never played this particular version, chances are you’ve stumbled upon this gem-swapping family of games before. Blitz is a timed variant of the classic formula: you have just 60 seconds to score as many points as you can by making rows of three, four or five gems.
The one-minute limit really helps to pick up the pace and makes the game much more exciting than its placid predecessor. Try and get into a rhythm for a significant speed bonus!
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CellCraft
Despite stinking ever so slightly of a, shudder, educational game, this biology-based adventure RPG is actually quite entertaining. Taking control of the cell, moving it along and building ribosomes and other things is fun as you can zoom in and see everything happening, and there’s an incredible amount of detail in the way the game works. Quite why, then, the developers felt the need to include a plot featuring talking duck-billed platypuses is a true mystery.
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Achievement Unlocked 2
Even though it’s the most basic platformer it’s possible to have ñ moving and jumping with walls and spikes – something about this 'achievements metagame' makes it too compelling to switch off. Pilot your tiny blue elephant around the 'levels' for no purpose other than collecting the game’s 250 achievements. Maybe it’s a hard-wired aspect of human nature, or maybe we just lead very boring lives, but whatever the cause as soon as you start playing you’ll instantly be addicted.
Although the game is basic, it doesn’t make it any the less challenging ñ simply working out what you have to make your tiny elephant do from the vague titles is difficult enough. Graphics and sound, although again basic, are very well executed to a high level of quality and make the hours you might spend here a comfortable enough use of time.
Click to play Achievement Unlocked 2
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Panda’s Big Adventure
This point-and-click puzzle adventure sees the titular panda travelling through time in a somewhat familiar blue box. Although it’s just your standard formula with no weird time travel effects, it’s still pretty fun for a quick play and the puzzles, if a little odd can be genuinely quite challenging in places.
Click to play Panda's Big Adventure
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Doeo
Hovering your mouse over as many coloured blocks as you can against the clock may sound like a boring idea on paper, but when you put it together with a big dollop of Japanese craziness things suddenly start to work out.
A 'doeo' is a little pink or green block embellished with a cute animal face and you’ve got just under a minute to catch them as they ride by on trains and explode from volcanoes. It’s never really possible to know where they’re going to appear next and keeping up with them as they pop in and out leads to a frantic forty seconds of mouse mayhem. Play it on hard to get the full adrenaline-pumping effect!
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Alice Is Dead Episode 3
This point-and-click adventure provides a plunges Lewis Carroll’s Alice In Wonderland into a sordid world of crime, violence and shady science. You play as The White Rabbit – now an assassin who after an attempt on his life has lost his memory. Graphics are gorgeous and bring the world to life, and voice acting is particularly good for a web game.
Click to play Alice Is Dead Episode 3
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Cat Astro Phi
It has a cute kitty. It has spaceships. Is there really any more you need to know? This top-down shooting game, played in a Gameboy window that should send waves of nostalgia over anyone born in the 80s, features a tiny space man out to save his cat and escape the hostile planets on which he inevitably crash lands.
Asteroid-infested space flights sandwich each level and provide a fun distraction that inevitably sees your ship crash. You must navigate the helmeted spaceman around the robot-infested planets, upgrading your guns, shooting baddies and collecting keycards and cells to power your ship. The robots actually provide some challenge and their speedy moves will frequently get the better of you.
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World Conquest
It’s RISK, but on Facebook! The classic world domination strategy game is recreated in pixel-perfect detail for you to play with your friends and/or strangers. Set up a private game and invite your friends for some classic turn-based action ñ just remember, take Asia!
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Effing Meteors
In this abstract action game, you control a (deep breath, physicists) 'gravity well' with which you can trap meteors and send them hurtling towards planets in balls of fire. The aim of the game is simple: wipe out as many species as you can. Each species behaves differently and you must adjust your tactics accordingly to beat them.
As the game continues in this fashion you’ll encounter aliens, missile-shooting snails and oversized, radioactive dinosaurs. Mindless destruction turns out to be a lot of fun, and the game’s unique visual style looks great. You can spend five minutes of half an hour here and still have an enjoyable time!
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Vector Rush
I’ve never taken acid, but if I did I’m pretty sure this is what it would look like. Your first reaction on entering this 3D tunnel game will most likely be to scream, but after you’ve calmed down and regained control of your bowels this game turns into an adrenaline-pumping trippy monster that is actually incredibly enjoyable. Collect blue rings for extra lives!
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Goblin War Machine
Sometimes it can all get on top of you. Girlfriend trouble? Exam stress? Then maybe it’s time to kill some people... in this vehicular-action game of course! Take to this cannonball-firing monster truck and jump, drive and shoot all over the native human population of hamlets, villages and towns. Towers and buildings stand in your way, and warriors will fight back with spears, siege towers and even parachutes.
Although the gameplay is really fun when it gets going, the war machine’s general bounciness and instability means the car is constantly flipping onto it’s back from which it’s not possible to recover. Players can press 'F' to flip the wheels back over, but both hands are on the arrows and mouse so this is awkward. Otherwise, graphics fit well with the mood and the upgrade system keeps the game going for longer.
Click to play Goblin War Machine
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Armor Mayhem
In this 2D futuristic shoot-'em-up, you play an armoured soldier fighting for a trans-planetary corporation on a planet consumed by humanity’s energy crisis. It’s a fight to the death for control of mysterious crystals (which don’t feature in the gameplay) and you and your AI teammates must compete in deathmatch, capture-the-flag and king-of-the-hill style games against other corporations.
The game delivers very solid action that does its forefathers Quake and Unreal Tournament proud. The AI is actually very competent and does a good job of keep the game challenging. Although the selection of weapons is small, they’re well balanced and complement each other in damage and accuracy. There are also an admirable variety of maps whose stylish visuals round off the game into a great little experience.
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Meat Boy
Fancy getting yourself a slice of that bloody red action? Why not try the original Flash game that started the craze? It’s not as well polished as it’s big brother but still packs all the crazy-hard levels that you could ever need.
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DuBlox
Have you ever tried to pick up tofu with chopsticks? If so, you will probably already be a master of the complex logic behind this geometrical puzzler. As the four yellow cubes flop around the stage flipping and rolling, much like tofu cubes in the hands of a chopstick amateur, your brain will go in meltdown trying to comprehend where to lie them flat, where to stand them up and, ultimately, how to get them to the red goal zone.
You may think this is just another of those block games you can solve by trial and error, but that’s where you’re wrong. To get through this one you might actually have to (shock horror) think. Later levels are real stumpers. Visuals are pretty awesome, especially on the animation.
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Torpedos Armed
In this nautical shooter, you control a torpedo-shooting submarine tasked with one simple instruction: destroy all enemy ships! Cruisers sail the waves above you while other subs stalk the seabed below you, all firing a multitude of missiles your way.
As the action starts to get going, the sheer number of missiles in the waters require some extreme concentration to dodge, all while trying to position the sub in the right place. Not even the upgrades can help when things start getting messy. A fun little action game that you’ll keep coming back to.
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Sushi Cat 2
It has a cat. It has sushi – with faces. Oh, and it’s Japanese. That should be all you need to know that this is cutest, most kawaii game you’re ever likely to play on this side of the world. Sushi Cat is on a mission to rescue his beloved, but he’s going to have to eat a bucketful of sushi first. Drop the bouncy kitty and watch him nom is way through the sashimi and tofu. Brilliant!
The gameplay isn’t exactly challenging, but it doesn’t need to be. Collecting the light bites is, for some reason, enjoyable enough and extremely addictive. Graphics too are a highlight, with the some of the highest-quality visuals it’s possible to find in a Flash game.
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Rebuild
Finally, a bit of originality in the zombie genre! In this isometric strategy game, you play the leader of a group of apocalypse survivors trying their damndest to stay alive. This isn’t just about killing zombies, people need food, medicine and happiness, and it’s your job to find them those things. Being able to completely customise the fort is a great feature, and the huge scope for expansion makes everything much more interesting. There’s also a lot of depth to the strategy and plenty to keep players interested for a good little while.
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Carveola Incident
In this gallery shooter, you play a World War One army sergeant faced with something much worse than the Axis powers: zombies. After teaming up with German counterparts, you’ll take on all manner of undead in the traditional fashion.
Only, the mist over no-man’s land brings more fear than usual, not least because you’re stuck with awful guns from Call of Duty 2. Night levels rack the atmosphere up a few notches, giving some great moments.
Click to play Carveola Incident
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Shellshock Live
Do you remember the DOS classic Scorched Earth or like the idea of Worms but can’t condone the waste of good fishing bait? If so, you’re going to love this multiplayer Flash artillery shooter. You and up to five friends (or strangers) can battle it out in tanks, taking it in turns to fire all manner of bullets, grenades and even heavy drilling equipment at each other.
Rather disappointingly, victory is awarded on points alone so there aren’t any exploding tanks to be found, but watching foaming teenagers rage quit after the third subsequent air strike is satisfying enough. The weaponry on offer is varied and plentiful which means the classic issue of never getting to use the fun guns isn’t a problem here. Get some friends (or enemies) together for the ultimate experience.
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BattlePaint
In this top-down shooter, making a mess is the order of the day. The floor is splattered with the coloured innards of every cube you rip into so the more it looks like unicorn vomit the better you’re doing.
The simple premise is brought to life by the graphical effects, and although the game starts pretty slow, the pace soon picks up as enemies appear in ever-larger numbers. Plus, you’ll feel the panic when approaching enemies disappear amongst the colours!
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iSketch
Despite being around since the mad, bad days of Web 1.0 when really annoying Flash introductions were cool, iSketch is still going strong and is still enjoyable even though it’s starting to show its age a little. The classic Pictionary, where players have to draw a picture to describe a word or phrase, has been brought online and thrown into the wild world of multiplayer action.
Players take it in turns to draw against the clock. The more correct answers, the more points, and answerers get a bonus for answering first. Drawing is definitely the highlight and the chime the game makes when you’re first to answer soon becomes the most pleasurable sound it’s possible to hear. If friends want to play they can join the same room for some co-op or team-based action. Trolling random strangers on chat is fun too!
