Who wants to get militant with me?

Surprise! A funding gap has emerged in universities. If you were in charge of estimating how many universities would ask for as much money as humanly possible and you predicted less than 100%, I feel like you have only yourself to blame.

So many universities are charging the full £9000 that the loans system is going to implode under the weight of all the stupidity that was involved in bringing this about, and the only options available are really appealing things like reducing university places or just cutting funding in. Hooray!

NUS president Aaron Porter said some words to a man with a microphone, as per usual, but I’m beginning to wonder if a Harry Potter lookalike is the best representative here. Not sure if that’s sending the right message. Not that the message is being heard by anyone. Obviously, no-one gives a shit about what the National Union of Students thinks because it’s really only one step up from a Year 7 Student Council. But if the best we’re going to get on BBC News is “these poorly conceived funding arrangements blah blah yawn” then yes, we need a change of tack.

So what I’m thinking is that we club together and start up a militant wing of the NUS. We’ll do all the cool militant wing stuff like pixelate our faces when we go on the news, and claim responsibility for any errors found in exams, that sort of thing. Then the next time someone wants a comment about where it all went wrong, we’ll say we warned them and then laugh manically while Aaron Porter claims he has nothing to do with us.

Again, no-one’s going to listen to us. But if our university is going down the drain, a career in white-collar terrorism is a neat horizontal step on the career ladder from disgruntled student. Viva la revolucion.