Why you should give me your money

I’m going to lay my cards out on the table straight away. I will spend the next six months begging you for money. This is the raison d’etre of this column. Amusing you (or more likely myself) would be a nice perk on the side – a bit like dental insurance.

Given that you are all, no doubt, very lovely, very deep pocketed people with enormously generous student loans, I’m sure that you’re already reaching for your cheque books. It only seems fair, therefore, that I justify you handing me large wads of cash.

So here it is: I’m taking part in an Ironman triathlon. The iron distance is a 2.4 mile swim followed by a 112 mile cycle followed by a 26.2 mile run (a marathon). Now I was never in the ‘gifted athlete’ bracket growing up, but then again I was never the last to be picked when choosing football teams either. I have mid-table mediocrity written all over me. I’m the Middlesbrough of sporting prowess.

This is slightly unfortunate, because even if I were incredibly marvellous and could give Mo Farah a run for his money, an Ironman later this year would still be gooch-achingly difficult.

So I guess this begs the question “why?” Well, simply put, (and this is where it gets a little heavy), my cousin suffers from Cystic Fibrosis and I’m raising money for the CF Trust in the hope that the research they fund will save her life.

CF is a recessive genetic disease. 1 in 25 people are carriers of the gene (often unaware of the fact) and 1 in 2500 suffer from the full blown illness. It mainly affects the lungs – in later stages it’s so difficult to breathe that it feels like you’re sucking air through a straw. The median life expectancy is 35.

My cousin is waiting for a lung transplant. If she gets one, it will radically change her life for the better, but it won’t cure her. She’ll be OK for 10 years or so, but much more money is needed for research before a permanent fix can be found.

So that is why I’m doing an Ironman. I want to inspire people to give a few pennies to a cause that is very close to my heart. Any amount counts – and it will be incredibly gratefully received.

You can sponsor Ned online by going to www.justgiving.com/NedsIronman or by text through JustTextGiving by sending ‘IRON66 £(amount you like to give)’ to 70070.