My favourite things about exams

It’s that time of year again: with the joy of the excessive chocolate consumption that is Easter comes The Fear. Exams are just round the corner and you suddenly realise you haven’t been to an entire week of lectures since October.

However, I was once told that every cloud has a silver lining. And here is that lining for exam season:

1. Money Saving Opportunity: I mean, between the days you spend forming an intense relationship with the view of Queen’s Tower from the 4th floor of Central Library and the nights having panic-attacks and contests with your flatmates about who’s done the least work, when do you physically have any time to spend money? You’ll only spend money on comfort food from the Library café and unnecessary stationary from the Union Shop, and in no time you’ll resent both of those places so much you won’t be able to pull your money from your pocket (because your fists are clenched with revision rage).
2. Reduction of Embarrassing Encounters: During exams, alcohol consumption either plummets or escalates. If it plummets, I find myself exponentially less likely to wake up beside someone and having to sheepishly smile whilst I gather my clothing and mutter something about how cough great a time I had. And if it escalates, well, the revision-induced misery means I’ll be a guilt-ridden, crying wreck by half past ten and that’s never attractive. No one wants to go home with that person, so job done: I will wake up in my own bed, similarly sheepish as I recall my breakdown but free to enjoy the embarrassment alone.

I find myself exponentially less likely to wake up beside someone and having to sheepishly smile whilst I gather my clothing

3. New Hobbies and Discoveries: Since the dawn of education, one of the best things about revision are the new things you end up discoveringwhilst you frantically procrastinate and avoid the stacks of notes in front of you (your very own mini-Everest, courtesy of our darling Imperial). These things range from your new secret talent, or simply a fantastic internet-revelation. For instance, yesterday I spent an hour and a half with my fluid mechanics open in front of me but watching a documentary on Beyonce – it was the best hour and half of my life. I also caught three M&Ms and one Malteser in my mouth by throwing them in the air – this is unprecedented and all thanks to my exams. So whether you discover Maru the Cat on YouTube, create a Twitter account or simply find that you can cross all of your fingers and toes at once, don’t forget: none of this would have been made possible without serious denial. THANK YOU EXAMS.