I went to the Bond premiere

By some spectacular stroke of luck I managed to get my paws on a ticket to the Spectre premiere. I’m not just talking a ticket to see the film, I mean full on red carpet walking boozing and schmoozing tickets.

You’d have to be living under a rock to have missed the build up to the premiere. Two days of rigging, road closures all along Prince Consort Road and a handful of die hard Bond fans camping out to be in the crowd. As a jammy cow with an office right above the action and a ticket to the main event I was asked to tell you all the mad things that happened.

Let’s start with the cars and a shout out a particular crane operator. This guy craned a Jaguar CX57 and 007’s DB10 through the gap between the Albert Hall and those posh flats to place them in front of a massive expensive looking screen. The guy deserves a medal, a clean set of underwear and a stiff drink.

The guy deserves a medal, a clean set of underwear and a stiff drink.

Security was pretty tight on the night. En route back to office on Monday afternoon I had to fight through a massive queue of fans waiting to get their bags thoroughly searched before having to show my ID card to what felt like a gazillion security guards. Unlike with Union bar staff, I couldn’t use ‘my face is on the screens’ to get through.

Union staff found themselves having to clear meeting rooms in Beit of randoms all afternoon. This includes one lady who apparently would not quit and kept returning to her vantage point. Ironically, while I was on the red carpet half the Union was hanging out of the same windows.

Finally we get to the main event. Red carpet time. Dressed to the nines, I headed off with my embossed ticket to strut my ginger stuff. For those who care, I wore a teal silk dress made from a 1960’s Vogue pattern from my nan’s back cupboards and vintage jewellery. Obviously I was upstaged by Bond Girl Lea Seydoux.

I spent my time on the red carpet taking selfies, making the people who queued for hours in the cold sick with envy and hoping to run into the glorious Daniel Craig. I love an older man. The highlight of my red carpet experience came when I was interviewed by ICTV. Those in the crowd were likely wondering what I ever did to be interviewed on a red carpet. Big Brother season 2? Guest appearance on TOWIE? ICU Meet the Candidates? I’m pretty certain the security guy was taking the piss with “I hope you enjoyed your interview Madame”. Who cares, I met Will.i.am at the bar 10 minutes later.

I probably have to mention the royals. Wills and Kate turned up, with Harry third wheeling. They didn’t have to walk the red carpet like the rest of us peasants, they drove up. The entire audience then watched them walking into the Albert Hall on the screen.

The film is brilliant by the way. As you can imagine Bond gets laid, some cars get trashed and things blow up. You should go and see it.

Monday nights will be crap for the rest of my life.