Eight signs you’re dating a gamer
They’ve probably spent more time on their PC than they have on you
Your SO (significant other) is simply the greatest, they seem to be perfect in all aspects. You think you’ve scored the jackpot and can’t do any better. But, you have a nagging suspicion about them: you think they might be a gamer. You don’t want to believe it, but you can’t deny certain features about them seem a little unusual. I’m going to explain certain tell-tale signs which would prove, without a doubt, that they are indeed a gamer.
1 | Extreme hardware
They have a really massive... PC, which they use to play games, complete with things you didn’t know existed, such as a liquid-cooling video card. Honestly, they’ve probably spent more time on their PC than they have on you. Of course, they may also have a console which sort of counts but not really. (PC Master race for life!)
2 | Pokémon guru
They know the names of all the 800+ Pokémon, complete with typings, movepool, abilities, z-moves, and basically everything there is to know. It massively dwarfs your knowledge of just Pikachu and its signature move, thunderbolt. They will at some point proceed to tell you how, actually, volt tackle is Pikachu’s signature move.
3 | Non-stop fangirling
When the new fire emblem game comes out, it’s all that they’ll talk about. Every time you have a conversation with them from that point onwards, they’ll use all sorts of names and phrases you haven’t even heard of and constantly complain about how the RNG isn’t in their favour or something. All you’ll be able to do in these discussions is smile and nod like the good SO that you are.
4 | Recollection expert
They can recite all the upcoming release dates for a large variety of sequels and indie games in a heartbeat. Normally you wouldn’t mind this too much, if only they would also remember when your birthday actually was.
5 | Uninspired gifts
Almost all the gifts they give you are gaming themed. You’re not entirely sure why you would want an Assassin’s Creed gauntlet but you accept it nonetheless.
6 | Not the APM you want
Whenever you try to spend some quality time with them, they will occasionally deny your request and spout some nonsense about how live games can’t be paused and how the opposing team is invading the barracks. Usually at that point, you’d hear a loud clicking noise from their room which they simply explain as ‘lol’. (APM is actions per minute you noob!)
7 | Steam sale frenzy
They get really excited at Christmas and Summer, but not because they’re excited to see their family again. It’s actually because the steam sale takes place around this time and they basically blow their entire bank account on games they’ll probably never play in their life.
8 | Sisyphean gaming
A lot of your hang out sessions involve the two of you gaming with each other. Or, to be more precise, them beating you at whatever game you guys play with you winning occasionally; you know for a fact it’s only because they let you win. If the person you’re dating has even some of these quirks, it’s time to face the facts; you’re dating a gamer. And honestly, there’s nothing really wrong with it. They’re people just like you and me (or even your lecturers). If they seem to devote more of their life to games than they do to you, that might mean they have severe prioritisation issues. In this case, it would be wise to have a nice long talk, where they need to re-evaluate their life choices. Or, you can just suck it up and enjoy the experience of repeatedly losing against every single character in Smash. Your call.
