Catnip

The awkward truth about first kisses

Plus: what happens when you actually eat the McDonald's wrapper

I've never had my first kiss. But I'm in a talking stage with a guy and I know he won't do anything I'm not comfy with. But I'm scared. What if I don't like it or it's awkward. Should I just try kiss him anyways?

The answer is yes and no. Chances are if this is your first time kissing someone it will not be a trip to paradise. In fact, if this is either of your first kiss in some time, it's likely that you are going to have a fumbled, overly-wet experience and find yourself contemplating the purpose of the weak organ that we call the tongue. You may have to wipe the drying saliva on your chin and wonder how your chin got involved in the first place. Regardless of whether you kiss him or not, you'll realise it's... not that romantic. Yes, it is awkward. But, I must admit, it is can be nice to share that awkwardness. I couldn't stop giggling after my first kiss. It's fun, it's intimate, silly and human. What floats my boat (and a lot of other people's boats or yachts) is the time that leads up to the kiss, the hand placement, the rush of blood, the "not-knowing". You know what, I changed my mind. If the chance presents itself, kiss him. Go on. There is nothing to be scared of, but you'll only know that once you do it. He's just a guy, he'll want to kiss you too.

I tricked ChatGPT into saying "you eat burgers with the wrapper" and then I forgot and ate a burger with a wrapper and now I feel like paper and awful. Is it because of the paper or because it was McDonald's?

Do you realise that by tricking ChatGPT into saying you eat burgers with the wrapper you used an unnecessary amount of energy and contributed to carbon emissions and thus climate change? What does paper feel like and why is it awful? How does it feel any different than what you normally feel after eating a burger? Well, paper is made of trees and trees are plants and we eat plants as omnivores so, I guess, it's organic. Except the dyes they use on the paper, but if we are going to be upset over that we should be upset over the processed food we eat all the time. A little paper every once in a while never hurt any one (I assume), so I think as the paper leaves your system, you'll feel less like paper. As for your question, I would suggest you gather a random group of people from diverse backgrounds, divide them into two, have half just eat the McDonald's burger and have half of them eat another burger with the wrapper on. Create objective criteria to define each and collect data. Then compare. I feel like the way to go with this is an experiment. And do let me know because I'm quite curious about it as well.


From Issue 1865

31st Jan 2025

Discover stories from this section and more in the list of contents

Explore the edition

Read more

Feb Senton pleads not guilty to murdering walking slowly CEO

Feb Senton pleads not guilty to murdering walking slowly CEO

The suspect accused of killing SlowWalkingPublic CEO, Barnaby Hilton–Royce, has pleaded not guilty to murder and terrorism charges in London. Mr Hilton–Royce was a single “devoted father” of two golden doodles whom he regularly struggled to carry up escalators in tube stations. Feb Senton, 25, appeared in court

By NegaFelix
Peter Haynes to take over Provost role in October

News

Peter Haynes to take over Provost role in October

Professor Peter Haynes has been appointed as the new Provost and Deputy President of Imperial College. The current  Vice-Provost for Education and Student Experience, Haynes will succeed the outgoing Provost, Professor Ian Walmsley, who has served in the role since 2018. Imperial President Hugh Brady said Professors Haynes and Walmsley

By Guillaume Felix
Why RAG’s bungee jump event never took place

News

Why RAG’s bungee jump event never took place

Earlier this academic year, Imperial Raising and Giving (RAG), had announced the return of their charity bungee jump after a hiatus of 10 years. The event, however, was postponed several times, and Felix can now reveal why it was cancelled. The event, initially scheduled for November 13th, was postponed several

By Mohammad Majlisi and Nadeen Daka
Palestine protests ramp up as year ends and tensions rise

News

Palestine protests ramp up as year ends and tensions rise

Saturday 7th June: Pro-Palestinian protestors hold banners as they stand on ALERT at the Great Exhibition Road Festival. Tuesday 10th June: A student announces a hunger strike asking for Imperial to investigate Islamophobia and anti-Arab racism, form a student-staff working group on ethical investment, and divest from arms companies accused

By Mohammad Majlisi