Imperial computing students start a dating society

After the results of the Felix Sex Survey 2025 were published last week, Computing students at Imperial College have decided to put an end to the allegations of involuntary celibacy. A committee of board members met up this Wednesday evening—as none of them are members of any sports clubs—to discuss their plan of action.

Many expected that Feb Senton, Imperial College's most famed Computing alumni, would show up to the event to give a speech, but instead he did a no-show. NegaFelix decided to reach out to the young entrepreneur to get a quote on his absence.

"It's just not my crowd anymore. Ever since I got my 80k graduate salary for a weapons company I've had no problems in the matter. I fill out the Sex Survey every year still, just to pull the department's average up," he told us. "If anything, it's a beloved hobby of mine now. I've always loved the Ancient Greeks."

What Senton was unaware of was that the Computing students curbed expectations and did the most Ancient Greek thing of all: starting a polycule. One undergraduate, who wished to remain anonymous, said: "It's not homosexual, it's intellectually stimulating and a higher order ritual. Think about Plato and Aristotle."

The polycule, known as the Compolycule, is an official society on the Union page, and offers practice sessions, careers fairs, and workshopping events. They are trying a more hands-on, group-work approach this year, as their social secretary, Emmanuel Frederick, said: "In the past, it's been all independent simulations". Membership costs £7 but is free for women via a DEI scheme.

DoCSoc have declined to comment.