All slackers in group projects are just one person

Scientists at Edinburgh University have revealed that every single lazy member of a university team that never contributed to your group project are actually the same man.

Scottish Researchers in the Experimental Pedagogy Department have tracked down the man who is added to groups to work on a project, before disappearing and not doing any of the work that is assigned to him.

Feb Senton, 23, is a student at multiple universities around the world under many different aliases and disguises, describing himself as ‘actually incredibly hard working’. He told scientists that he could not make up his mind which university to attend, or which course to do, after completing his A-levels so decided to simply apply to several. However, the build up of his course load meant that he often had to skip meetings and could not be as present as he would like to be.

“It is hard enough attending all the lectures and doing my own individual work, not to mention flying from country to country every day and putting on my various disguises, I sometimes have to let others take the burden when it comes to group projects”.

Members of groups that Fenton has been assigned to have reacted with fury to the news. Narun Tair, a first year Maths student at Imperial College told NegaFelix “I got paired with Senton on an algebraic geometry project earlier in the year, although he was calling himself Consuela Diverdé at the time. After the first meeting he just vanished and I couldn’t get through to him in any way.”

Senton has issued an apology to all who were affected by his actions and has promised to focus on only one course. However, our reporter did note that he left the interview in a hurry, muttering something about having a plane to catch. Unfortunately, his reign of terror may not be over quite yet.