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The student newspaper of Imperial College London

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Felix

Issue 1773 (PDF)
The student newspaper of Imperial College London


Keep the Cat Free


Women who say they are “not like other girls” are in fact >99.99% similar

Hangman

in Issue 1773

Researchers at the University of Yorkshire have found that women who describe themselves as “not like other girls” are unlikely to significantly differ from their peers. Lead researcher, Feb Senton told NegaFelix that while this is a common claim, the science does not hold up the statistical significance of many of these claims. 

The study interviewed over 800 women who claimed to be outliers from their gender who gave pieces of evidence including watching different television programmes ‘to other girls’, wearing sweatshirts and liking anime. Unfortunately, many of these characteristics were also present in ‘other girls’. In fact, every woman interviewed in both the sample and the control group described themselves as ‘low maintenance’ whether they claimed to be different or not. 

Researchers are divided over the reasons for this behaviour. Some have suggested that this behaviour stems from cultural misogyny and toxic ‘geek culture’ encouraging women to appeal to male fantasies of a woman that will date them without objecting to any of their unattractive habits or characteristics. Camatha Sawley, a secondary author on the Yorkshire paper told NegaFelix “In my spare time, I collect obscure volumes of poetry with humorous printing errors and campaign for the abolition of regressive NIMBYish green belt planning laws. However, no men want to get to know me. Instead they are looking for a woman whose self-esteem is low enough that she finds their irregular personal hygiene schedules endearing”. 

A spokesperson for Men disagreed, telling NegaFelix “If she isn’t a manic pixie dream girl, a big tittie goth gf or a depressed bi girl who we can imagine having threesomes with then we are not interested.”

Unfortunately, the research was not completed and a more complete analysis will have to wait for several month. While in the waiting area, some of the participants began arguing over who was actually ‘different’ and who had fewest female friends. Blows were thrown after one woman was accused of looking at her own reflection in a window. The ethics and criminal investigations are currently ongoing. 

In fact, the most statistically significant result that the group was able to find, a woman only 58% similar to other women was later identified as a banana from one of the post docs’ lunch. 

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