Love, sex, and the internet

Nina Freeman has made a name for herself developing weird and wonderful autobiographical games. Many of them only take minutes to play; however, in these vignettes, Freeman pushes the boundaries of the medium more than any ten hour epic has ever been able to do.

Much of the appeal of Freeman’s work stems from her willingness to explore themes that most developers find uncomfortable. Take ‘how do you DO it’ for example; it’s a game about a young girl trying to work out how sex works by positioning two dolls. In ‘Freshman Year’, she explores the much more serious issue of unwanted attention. For some, her games can be triggering or painful, but for others they’re often comforting.

Freeman pushes the boundaries of the medium more than any ten hour epic has ever been able to do

Freeman offers a refreshing female perspective in an industry dominated by men. And by focusing on her teenage years and time at college, she is always able to make something that is easy for any millennial, regardless of sex, to engage with.

Her latest game, ‘Cibele’, follows her online relationship with Blake, a man she met while playing Final Fantasy Online. We are given full access to Freeman’s life through her desktop; intimate and revealing emails, photos, chat logs, poems, and blog drafts all tell us a little more about teenage Nina. It feels incredibly invasive given the fact that in reality we are rarely given the chance to look through someone’s personal files.

It’s worrying how much we can learn about someone through their digital presence; we’re moving fast towards a world where every other thought or communication exists in a record online. And because we live so much of our lives through screens, we often struggle with real life encounters. These do exist in ‘Cibele’ in the form of short in-game videos. They paint a picture of a young women struggling with her own self-image and sexuality.

‘Cibele’ focuses on the awkward interactions and self-confidence issues that are intertwined with online communication and relationships. Discovering your sexuality online in the 21st century is a far different experience from that of our parents.

Few games have ever caused me to reflect on my own life quite like Cibele

As a teenager, I always struggled interacting with the opposite sex in and outside of school. Luckily, I soon grew out of my social awkwardness, but like many of our generation I always found it easy to interact with others online: “It’s easier to talk when you’re not looking at someone.” Some of my activity online could probably have been described as creeping, however, after playing ‘Cibele’ and seeing Nina Freeman’s experience as a teenager I now realise this was the norm for a 14 or 15 year old growing up in the internet age.

Few games have ever caused me to reflect on my own life quite like ‘Cibele’.

The flirting, sexting and awkward compliments that take place online are no replacement for physical intimacy. And when we do extend an online relationship beyond the web, it rarely lives to our expectations. It’s sad that future generations might discover their sexuality entirely through the internet.

While Freeman never expresses this concern explicitly in ‘Cibele’, it’s painfully obvious from the disappointment that her relationship ends

The power of sex plays an increasingly important role throughout the game and its ending. But for a piece of work that Nina herself describes as being about sex, the act itself is surprisingly absent.

I have a lot of respect for Freeman. By putting per own personal experiences in a game she allows us to reflect on own lives in ways few games have done in the past. There were many times where I saw myself in Blake and Nina.

There was a moment where I was reminded of the first time I told a girl over Facebook that she was “cute” (a fact which she quickly refuted).

A game has never done that to me before.

Cibele by Star Maid Games is available now on Steam