Sh!t Sc!ence
Scientists conclude Quebeckers are pervs
At Sh!t Sc!ence, we believe that all science has a purpose, and helps us better understand the fascinating world we all live in. Especially when scientists spend some time exposing the sexual deviances of Quebeckers.
Quebec: an anomaly in itself. A french bastion buried in the frozen confines where the North American continent flirts with the arctic circle, where temperature drops to -17˚C in the winter, and it snows nine months out of the year. And that’s a lot of nights where you need to ward off the cold.
Science has shown that on a cold Quebec night, when the moonlight is bouncing off the freshly fallen snow, if you listen carefully, you are likely to hear the soft romantic sound of a whip cracking in the distance.
Scientists of the University of Montréal in Canada have conducted a survey to analyse what goes on between the pelts in the homes of Quebec. And their results show that Quebeckers are dirty, dirty boys and girls. Within the 1,040 test responders, “nearly half (45.6%) of the sample subjects were interested in at least one type of sexual behaviour that is considered anomalous” says Mr. Joyal, lead author on the research paper published in the Journal of Sex research.
Within these anomalous sexual behaviours, Quebeckers enjoy, in decreasing order of preference, voyeurism, fetishism, frotteurism and masochism.
I know what you’re thinking… ‘Masochism is an anomalous sexual behaviour? Mistress Vixen isn’t going to believe this!’ But according to the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which was published in 2013, sadomasochism falls under the realm of disorders of sexual preference, or paraphilia.
Mr. Joyal says that this research “suggest that we need to know what normal sexual practices are before we label a legal sexual interest as anomalous.” Demonising these sexual behaviours by classifying them as ‘anomalous’ can ostracise a population which is carrying out a common sexual practice.
Until 1973, the DSM categorised homosexuality as a paraphilic behaviour, and treatment to prevent these sexual urges was recommended. Criminally, illegal sexual behaviour in the UK protects non-consenting adults and children.
But beyond that, why do we need to classify ‘disorders’, as long as the sexual act gives pleasure to two consenting adults and doesn’t cause either of them psychological or physical harm?
