Summer lovin’
Issue 1665
Summer is officially here. You can tell by the hoards of panting students waiting to get served at FiveSixEight. You can also tell because felix has succumbed to society’s pressures and has dropped to half its original weight in preparation for the beach. For real though yesterday was so hot I almost passed out while waiting to grab a coke at the bar.
Other tell-tale signs of the arrival of Summer include: an increase in threats of libel, the evaporation of the editorial team, our desperate use of freedom of information requests to generate content, the questionable quality of the centrefolds, the front covers and overarching themes, and of course the distinct feeling that everyone at Imperial has stopped caring and is one curly fry away from giving up and fucking off to some sea-side destination.
Still we’ll persevere. At least until mid-June. Then I’m off on holiday.
This week we thought we’d do a homage to everybody’s second home, the Central Library. Imperial’s glistening rectangular temple of learning; shrine of tears, sacrificial altar of broken dreams and every delivery person’s favorite late night destination.
We wrote a retrospective on every major work it’s undergone over the last decade, laced with insights on expenditures gained from targeted freedom of information requests.
We also took a look at the Central Library’s night owl culture because clearly we have nothing better to do than wander around the library after midnight and ask people what they think of the toilets.
Sure, this edition might be a bit dry but so are our parched mouths and if we had it our way we’d have closed shop already.
So enjoy and don’t forget, when in a pinch use felix as a classy sun-hat.