What you need to do before you leave Imperial
University is over before you know it, they say. I’m sure some students would disagree. Nevertheless, Alice Davage and Fred Fyles are here with some things to make sure to do before gaining your freedom…
Watch a premiere
Ever noticed those bright spotlights encircling the night sky over campus? No, they are not signalling an alien invasion. The police are not scouring campus for a wanted criminal either. Although, both of these things would certainly liven up exam season. They are in fact a sign that a movie premiere or other glamorous event is being held at the Royal Albert Hall! Take a break from studying and immerse yourself in a scene of glitz and glamour. That red carpet may be a pain for those of you heading to Beit – a whole two minutes will be added to your journey as you walk around the damn thing – but embrace the opportunity to escape from the often mundane life of an Imperial student. For the best view sneak into the lecture theatres facing Prince Consort Road in the aeronautics building. Alternatively, befriend residents of Beit Hall and use a bedroom on the south or east sides as a temporary viewing platform. – AD
Take part in a Felix Centrefold
For a short amount of time after arriving at Imperial, I presumed having a tasteful picture of semi-naked students in your university paper was a pretty normal thing. They said everything would be different at university, so I presumed this was just one of those things – like learning how to do laundry, or crying in the toilets 24-hours before a deadline – that all students get to experience. Reader, I was wrong. It wasn’t until speaking to friends from other universities that I realised how odd the Centrefold actually is. Forget curly fries or crushing pressure – what really makes Imperial unique is the number of times naked photos of members of Cheese Soc have been posted around campus. – FF
Library all-nighter
The dreaded all-nighter. You spent the first two years of your degree judging the crazy people who live like hermits in the 24/7 sweatbox we call Central Library. Then final year hits. Severe procrastination and sheer terror has left you with two untouched lab reports due the following day. You enter the library hoping to be leaving triumphantly in a matter of hours. It gets to midnight and you still haven’t deciphered your lab protocol, which may as well be written in ancient hieroglyphics. It is at this point that you realise it’s an all-nighter or failure. You are one of us now. – AD
Avoid Exhibition Road Mormons
We’ve all been there. You’ve had a long day of lectures, where you didn’t understand a single thing, and all you want to do is head home to collapse into bed. Then you see two young men with freshly pressed shirts, megawatt grins, and side partings so sharp they could slice your fingers. They make a beeline towards you, but you hurriedly dash across the street, narrowly avoiding the taxis streaming past. You breathe a sigh of relief, then see two young women in floor-length skirts wafting towards you. It’s too late. You’re trapped. And now you need to awkward excuses about why you don’t want to go the church with the strangely-muscular Jesus opposite Imperial. If you’ve not tried to get through the Mormon Gauntlet that is Exhibition Road, have you even attended Imperial? – FF
End a night at the Slug
It’s incredible how quickly plans for ‘a quiet pint at the Union’ can transform to an incredibly messy night ending up at The Slug @ Fulham, West London’s premier nightspot. Their Facebook page says they “always have an awesome time so come on down and enjoy it with us”. Luckily, after half a dozen pints from 568, everything seems awesome, so you’ll probably enjoy the sweaty confines of the Slug, until the inevitable feelings of shame/nausea/regret that accompany the next morning. It may have been described as the “worst bar ever” on TripAdvisor, but the Slug holds a special place in Imperial students’ hearts. Make sure to visit before you leave. – FF
Post-exam pints and curly fries
Finishing your final exams at Oxbridge might involve being doused in whipped cream and Lambrini (if anyone ever tried that shit with me I swear I would cut them), but at Imperial it’s a more sedate affair. The most common sound you’ll hear after leaving your last exam isn’t shrieks of delight, but the question ‘Union?’ Heading to 568 for a few pints and orders of curly fries, that Imperial staple, is what most of us will truly associate with true freedom. Whether of not that evening ends with an early night or a messy one (see above for Slug-related information) is up to the individual. Regardless, Stella 4 has never tasted sweeter. – FF
