(In Imperial Confessional form)
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Mr Felix Felix,
I love you.
Your French face,
your supple cheeks,
turn my heart savage,
turns me into a freak.
Notice me Senpai,
I need you so,
Make me wear the cat mask,
and turn me into your hoe.
- Anonymous
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Both the Departments of Mathematics and Physics will be burning sage in what insiders say is a “desperate” attempt to combat worsening student satisfaction. The use of sage burning, a practise derived from withcraft, is seen to be a radical departure from both departments’ lack of action. “Look, we don’
An Imperial student was revealed to be saving thousands of pounds each year by eating the presentation dishes at campus eateries. Taste Imperial outlets usually prepare an extra meal for display to let students know what sauce accompanies the specific rice-and-meat preparation they serve on that day. These are generally
Nightmare gala turned HR nightmare.
The UK’s highest court sided with Imperial students in two out of three crucial test cases focusing on crimes that involved “ragebaiting”. The decision reversed earlier court rulings that denied the possibility of ragebaiting as a plausible and honest reason for harmful and destructive acts. Previously, these offences only
Opinion
Closing the door for international students opens the door to decline
Film & TV
How Emerald Fenell's adaptation of Wuthering Heights became a glossy, gendered spectacle.
Sport
"OH BABY IT’S BACK!” is how physics student Oli Long chose to open when I asked him about this year’s City Varsity, and honestly, it’s hard to put it better. The Fennex City Varsity returns on 7th March at Old Deer Park in Richmond for its
Books
There’s been a lot of controversy about the casting of Jacob Elordi, a white Australian, as Heathcliffe in Emerald Fennel’s adaptation of Wuthering Heights, particularly that a white man could portray a character, who although never explicitly stated to be what we in 2026 would call a racial