Student saves £2,500 yearly eating Taste Imperial presentation dishes
An Imperial student was revealed to be saving thousands of pounds each year by eating the presentation dishes at campus eateries.
Taste Imperial outlets usually prepare an extra meal for display to let students know what sauce accompanies the specific rice-and-meat preparation they serve on that day. These are generally not meant for consumption – but a clever student has taken a kick out of stealthily devouring them just as the restaurants close down.
“The meals are usually cold and wait is long,” the student confided to Felix, “but I bless my insides with a banquet of rice and ethnic condiments every day.”
When questioned by Felix, staff members admitted they had never questioned the nightly disappearance of presentation dishes, assuming these were thrown away by the cleaning staff.
“I’m glad the food isn’t wasted,” a representative for Taste Imperial told Felix, “but I am concerned about the health of the student who has been eating a metric ton of plastic-infused curry for the past two years.” Another staff member said he finally understood why the library toilets “look the way they look”.
The dangers of Taste Imperial abuse were made clear in 2021, when a PhD student spend a week in a hospital with hyperglycaemia after his friends tricked him into eating two sweet chicken Kokoro rice bowls in a single day.
Imperial Management, however, responded positively to the news.
“We receive occasional complaints that the inflation metric used by Taste Imperial (average weekly temperature in Glasgow divided by annualised Starmer cabinet reshuffle counts) was inaccurate and resulted in excessive price increases each year – whereas Imperial’s numbers do clearly show year-on-year London inflation standing at 54% in August.
“This inspirational story of a student using his creativity and intelligence to avoid paying for dinner reinforces our confidence that food at Imperial is properly priced, given the ingenuity of our high-IQ student population.”
Quoting from Imperial’s new Science for Humanity strategy, Imperial’s Vice-Chamberlain reflected that high food prices “encourage imagination [...], demand patience, insist on humility, reward accidents, steel our backs and make us brave.”
