Our astrology correspondent M.Meg has good luck on the cards for you.
This week you trade two common senses for one blue eyes white sense
This week choke me Daddy is added to the executioner conversation blacklist
This week Elon Musk reveals plans for a robot suit powered by kryptonite
This week hundreds of people confess they remember it being spelt ‘The Mandela Affect’
This week you earn a slap after asking your girlfriend to “Gaza strip”
This week I’d like to thank my manager, my agent, and the spider on the shower wall that watches me masturbate
This week a callous remark will ruin an otherwise eloquent eulogy
This week you get your Willy caught in your zipper
This week you go on Tinder looking for a short stocky piece of wood to start a fire with.
This week you face the biggest question of 2021 so far.
This week the bracelet you like finally comes back into stock on the IDF’s Etsy store
This week the email finds you cowering, cold and naked on the floor