Imperial computing students start a dating society
Joining the ‘Compolycule’ is free for women
Catnip
The real heart of the newspaper. FAKE NEWS
Your letters, our love
Your most awkward dating questions answered with brutal honesty
Imperial and Palantir start Mentat academy
College and tech giant plan to train students as young as 11 for Computing access scheme
The awkward truth about first kisses
Plus: what happens when you actually eat the McDonald's wrapper
Farewell, USA
Although Americans have always been stereotyped as being loud, obnoxious and self-centred, their contribution to the culture of the internet cannot be overlooked. Their creativity and humour during their tenure on TikTok has crafted an extraordinary environment full of entertainment, both good and bad. But, for this piece, I would
Editorial: Judgement Day
Sometimes reality is too absurd to satirise
Feb Senton pleads not guilty to murdering walking slowly CEO
The suspect accused of killing SlowWalkingPublic CEO, Barnaby Hilton–Royce, has pleaded not guilty to murder and terrorism charges in London. Mr Hilton–Royce was a single “devoted father” of two golden doodles whom he regularly struggled to carry up escalators in tube stations. Feb Senton, 25, appeared in court
Felix revealed to be 64 monkeys in West Basement
Felix Newspaper announced its strict no artificial intelligence policy to protect the “integrity of journalism and its creatives” in a statement on Instagram last year. However, this week it has been revealed why the College newspaper felt no need to dabble in ChatGPT – they have an office of 64 monkeys
Impfluencers — a look into the big names on the My Imperial Campus app
The My Imperial Campus app has skyrocketed to seventh place on the Google Play and Apple App Store charts under the social media category. This surprising influx of downloads and engagement comes after a major update, introducing new features that allow users to create content like other social media giants,
ALERT statue to get a pair of balls this Christmas
New Christmas installation to iconic statue revealed as College seeks to "fix the last few art cock-ups."
ESG initiative mandates burning of all books
In a bold push towards sustainability, the Labour Government has unveiled its latest environmental policy to reduce the waste caused by the paper industry. On Sunday 1st December, Labour MP Feb Senton announced plans to "burn all books" in an effort to "cure sustainability" and expedite
Elon Musk buys Imperial newspaper, renames FelX
Billionaire could only afford FelX (formerly Felix) following losses on X (formerly Twitter), paying child support, and spending millions on Trump's campaign.