I want to say thank you to the bad people

This goes out to all the bad people. This is for the terrorists and the murderers; for those who are violent and bigoted, or ignorant and entitled; for the unscrupulous businessmen and the hypocritical prigs; for the unrepentant criminals and the self-righteous moralisers. To you, I wanna say thank you.

You bad people make my life so much easier. You see, I’m not a good person by any stretch of the imagination. I’m lazy, self-centred, pretty arrogant, and spoiled. I’ve been known to not recycle, and I demand of others more than I ask of myself. I’ve never volunteered, I barely ever donate to charity, I struggle to eat my five-a-day and I once killed a puppy. I lie a lot and spend too much time playing video games. But, I’m not a bad person. Not while people who are worse than me exist.

It’s really, really easy to destroy any feeling of self-improvement when I compare myself to you, bad people. I may not spare two thoughts for impoverished girls in Africa, but at least I didn’t kidnap them and force them to marry me. I may have vague and ill-informed opinions about society and gender roles, but I have never harassed someone over the internet in the name of abolishing the patriarchy or defending ethics in game journalism.

When I look at my failures and my faults, they all seem small and insignificant when measured against the enormities that other people commit. It becomes clear to me that even if I did try to improve myself, I’m still better than many others through inaction. By simply minding my business, I do not harm other people, which is more than can be said for those who are bad. Sure, I don’t help other people either, but indolent passivity seems like an acceptable second to being a good person.

Besides, the modern age has made it all the much easier to be good. Donating to most charities takes a few clicks at most, and simply hashtagging the buzzword of the week shows that I care. If I’m feeling extra-helpful, I could even change my profile pic on Facebook to something like ‘Je suis Charlie’ or whatever will be the next catchphrase in order to “increase awareness” and “show solidarity”. I mean, I haven’t done any of those things, but it’s good to know that there’s always the option in case I need it.

In a better society, I would be a bad person. I would feel forced to improve myself, to sacrifice something to help others, to stop wasting time and money for selfish reasons, to try to be something more than I am right now. But that would take effort. So I’m glad I live in this society, where I can justify my flaws by saying, ‘at least I’m not as bad as those guys’.

And for this, I have to thank you, bad people.