(In Imperial Confessional form)
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Mr Felix Felix,
I love you.
Your French face,
your supple cheeks,
turn my heart savage,
turns me into a freak.
Notice me Senpai,
I need you so,
Make me wear the cat mask,
and turn me into your hoe.
- Anonymous
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Both the Departments of Mathematics and Physics will be burning sage in what insiders say is a “desperate” attempt to combat worsening student satisfaction. The use of sage burning, a practise derived from withcraft, is seen to be a radical departure from both departments’ lack of action. “Look, we don’
An Imperial student was revealed to be saving thousands of pounds each year by eating the presentation dishes at campus eateries. Taste Imperial outlets usually prepare an extra meal for display to let students know what sauce accompanies the specific rice-and-meat preparation they serve on that day. These
Nightmare gala turned HR nightmare.
The UK’s highest court sided with Imperial students in two out of three crucial test cases focusing on crimes that involved “ragebaiting”. The decision reversed earlier court rulings that denied the possibility of ragebaiting as a plausible and honest reason for harmful and destructive acts. Previously, these offences only
News
Professor Hugh Brady’s term as President of Imperial has been extended by three years until August 2030, following a unanimous approval by the College Council. In an email to students and staff, Council Chair Vindi Banga said a Search Committee commissioned in February found “extensive support for this extension”
Science
The Imperial iGEM 2026 team, reGelerate, is preparing to compete in the International Genetically Engineered Machine (iGEM), the world’s largest annual synthetic biology contest. Bringing together interdisciplinary student teams from across the globe, iGEM challenges participants to develop innovative research projects that address real-world issues in areas such
Books
If there’s anything I can leave you with, it’ll be a recommendation to read Rules of Civility.
Books
On the 1989 Booker Prize winner, The Remains of the Day.