ALERT statue to get a pair of balls this Christmas

ALERT will be receiving a temporary installation to mark the Christmas period from the week commencing 9th December, Felix can reveal. The new installation, “ROTUND”, will feature two baubles hung from ALERT’s “knees”, and remain in place until the new year.

The baubles will be approximately 50 centimetres in diameter and made of a “trademark ceramic compound”. They will be secured to the statue with steel wire. It is unclear what the baubles themselves will look like.

The feature has been designed by Hungarian artist FASOD, and was commissioned by the College following an “internal consultation, comprising both students and staff” earlier this year in August 2024.

A source familiar with the matter told Felix that it was agreed upon following low student satisfaction across departments. Felix was also told that College supremos sought to fix the PR errors caused by last [college] year’s rejected mural application and logo redesign, which attracted the ire of students, staff, and alumni alike.

“I think they’re really hoping this will fix the last few art cock-ups”, the source added.

The work is part of artist FASOD’s series “spherical” [sic]. Previous installations have been hung from Iron:Man, the Angel of the North, and Another Place.

FASOD said: “I love Sir Gormley’s work, but I always felt it was unfinished in some way. There was a modernist, rudimentary nature to it all, and I felt that that his vision would be truly realised once I was able to add that extra little bit of absurdism, and place my baubles on it, and capture it within a specific moment of time.

“It’s like movies now: everyone talks about shots and talks about stills, but the still has become the shot. In a way, my art does exactly that and captures Gormley’s statues in a single frozen moment of time.

“I would also like to say that I told him about this and he vociferously agreed. He even gave me his personal seal of approval.”