Imperial and Palantir start Mentat academy
College and tech giant plan to train students as young as 11 for Computing access scheme
Catnip
The real heart of the newspaper. FAKE NEWS
Advice from Catnip
I've never had my first kiss. But I'm in a talking stage with a guy and I know he won't do anything I'm not comfy with. But I'm scared. What if I don't like it or it'
Farewell, USA
Although Americans have always been stereotyped as being loud, obnoxious and self-centred, their contribution to the culture of the internet cannot be overlooked. Their creativity and humour during their tenure on TikTok has crafted an extraordinary environment full of entertainment, both good and bad. But, for this piece, I would
Editorial: Judgement Day
This is a rare time in which I offer some crack in character to my public facade. Writing and editing for Catnip has been a privilege. It offers the complete freedom to publish a huge variety of content, open to criticism, and to privately nod to my personal life, and
Feb Senton pleads not guilty to murdering walking slowly CEO
The suspect accused of killing SlowWalkingPublic CEO, Barnaby Hilton–Royce, has pleaded not guilty to murder and terrorism charges in London. Mr Hilton–Royce was a single “devoted father” of two golden doodles whom he regularly struggled to carry up escalators in tube stations. Feb Senton, 25, appeared in court
Felix revealed to be 64 monkeys in West Basement
Felix Newspaper announced its strict no artificial intelligence policy to protect the “integrity of journalism and its creatives” in a statement on Instagram last year. However, this week it has been revealed why the College newspaper felt no need to dabble in ChatGPT – they have an office of 64 monkeys
Impfluencers — a look into the big names on the My Imperial Campus app
The My Imperial Campus app has skyrocketed to seventh place on the Google Play and Apple App Store charts under the social media category. This surprising influx of downloads and engagement comes after a major update, introducing new features that allow users to create content like other social media giants,
Did someone say katsu curry?
Every outlet in South Ken forced to sell katsu in Imperial's newest initiative to boost the student lunch experience
ALERT gets ROTUND
New Christmas installation to iconic statue revealed as College seeks to "fix the last few art cock-ups."
Elon Musk buys Imperial newspaper, renames FelX
Billionaire could only afford FelX (formerly Felix) following losses on X (formerly Twitter), paying child support, and spending millions on Trump's campaign.
ESG initiative mandates burning of all books
In a bold push towards sustainability, the Labour Government has unveiled its latest environmental policy to reduce the waste caused by the paper industry. On Sunday 1st December, Labour MP Feb Senton announced plans to "burn all books" in an effort to "cure sustainability" and expedite
Mens III's unlikely success
Imperial College's third football team has earned a place in the third round of the FA Cup. The new manager, Feb Senton, has employed a 4-4-2 strategy influenced by experience mostly limited to Football Manager 24 in the computing suite of the Huxley Building. This is the first